Well hello world. My name is Tina (or heartbreaking12) and I am considering having lap band procedure done. It seems pretty extreme doesn't it? Having someone cut into your body to install a device to help you eat less, when so many people in the world need more to eat.
But then again, I am a product of my generation. I am 29 years old, and I was raised in the world of endless fast food restaurants, computers and never ending satellite television. These three things combine to make a person already genetically predisposed to being overweight, even more more overweight.
Actually, I think I am classified as being super morbidly obese. Wow, that would be the first time I actually admitted that out loud, or typed it for people to see.
I weigh 308 pounds. I wear a size 22/24 pants and a 3X shirt. My body fat percentage is 45.6%, and my BMI is 49. My life expectancy has me living for another 20 years tops. I feel hungry all the time, and I have no idea of how to control my eating.
Like I said, a product of my generation.
I feel as though I have been on an endless, perpetual diet my entire life. I feel like I was never taught HOW to eat. I know you are probably thinking, get a grip and step away from the cake lard-o. That's not the case, not at all, you see I am not some person that is addicted to fast food only, or someone that doesn't know how to say no a piece of cake, because I do! I'd even wager that I eat less than the average "healthy weight" person.
Maybe my metabolism is so screwed up that it doesn't know if it is coming or going, or maybe I don't eat the right combination of foods, maybe...maybe.
My point is this; eating isn't just something you DO, a child has to be taught to feel empty, and to feel full. I have no idea what "full" is, I just eat until my food is gone and then walk away. So consider this for a moment on average I consume 2,500 calories a day, but I have no idea if that is enough, too much....I just don't know.
I was taught to "clean my plate". Whether that plate had 3,000 calories and was load with simple carbs did not matter. The only thing that did matter was "waste not, want not." I had to clean that plate or I was in trouble.
Are you feeling sorry for me yet? This poor victim of society?
I have control over how much I eat, I could weigh my food and carefully dole out every little bit for the rest of my life, but is that enough? Will that be enough?
I'm just not willing to bet my health and lifespan on it. So I am going after the lap band.
I know this will not be an easy journey, the lap band is a serious procedure. It is not an easy fix, it doesn't mean I will automatically be a size 6 or ever a size 6 for that matter. What is DOES mean is that I will be able to use this weigh loss tool to finally find out what it feels like to be full. I will be able to see result of exercising regularly. I will be able to increased my life span and stick around to watch my children (I have three of them) fight their own demons.
I will be a more effective nurse. I will be a more effective role model for my children. I will be able to run and walk. I will be healthy.
So step 1 of the process is research, which I have done a crap load of I am stuck between two doctors, one in Savannah and one Jacksonville. I am leaning more towards one than the other but I feel like I need to meet them, see how comfortable I am with each of them and then make a decision.
Step 2 of the process is financing. This surgery is a major financial undertaking. It isn't like going out and buying a sweater or a new conditioner.
I'm investing 10-15 grand into my future health. I have no idea how well this will go over. I have decided to finance it myself because I have no health insurance right now.
I wanted to get a new car, and VW tiguan; by all accounts my surgery will cost as much as the car. So I have to decide, the surgery or the car.
So this is where I am right now, on the cusp of meeting doctors, and getting financial backing together.
It's going to be a long, hard journey. I hope that by doing this blog I will be able to keep myself motivated and keep my head in the game as far as seeing this to the end.
My current stats are:
Weight: 308
Pants size: 22/24
Shirt Size: 3X
BF: 45.6%
BMI:49
Short term Goal:
Weight 199
Pants size: 12
Shirt size: XL
BF: 29%
BMI: 30
Long Term Goal:
Weight: 145
Pants size: 8
Shirt Size: Medium
BF:22%
BMI: 23
